I M.E.T. Him on Monday - Me??!! Director of a Home School Co-p

About 5 1/2 years ago, we were members of a fantastic home school co-op of around 80 families.  The director had done a great job for many years but had decided that it was time for her to move on to other things, so the search for a new director began.

I happen to have just been asked to serve on the board, so I began to pray, along with everyone else, that God would provide the right person for the job.  As I started to pray, I started to feel a slight nudging and hear whispers saying that I should volunteer.

Well....let me give you a little background info....I am NOT a leader!!  Never have been and never will be.  I am a great follower and worker, but definitely not leader material.  I am completely unable to see the "big picture" and heck, I can barely keep myself on task when I just have one thing to do!

Then add to this the fact that the year before, the Lord had been teaching me that the world does not revolve around me :)  I know, it was a shocker for me too!!  I had come to realize that I am selfish and prideful and was about at the bottom of the pit regarding this lesson.

And finally....there was no way in the world that I would volunteer myself!  I mean, how pompous would I look to imply that I could actually do the job!!  Nope!  No way!!

Time passes...tick-tock, tick-tock....and the whisper gets louder and the nudging turns into pushing!  I realize very clearly that the Lord wants me to volunteer.  So I am driving in my car taking a meal to a family with a new baby and I am praying.  I get a bit angry at the Lord for asking me to do this and I verbally said...."God, why would you ask me to do this when You spent the last year showing me how inadequate I am?"  and God said clear as a bell to me...."Because now you will know that it is Me doing it, not you." 

Well, I started bawling in the car!!!  I mean the total ugly cry!!  I dropped off the meal and went home and called the appropriate people and volunteered for the job.

All of this to say that a few months later I was serving as director of an 80 family home school co-op!!  And boy was the Lord right when He said I would know it was Him, because it was all Him!!

I did not have an easy time from the get go.  I don't deal with conflict well and I despise confrontation!!  But He got me through it. 

I served for 2 1/2 years and I can tell you that it was one of the most tumultuous times of my life.  It seems like during my term everything that could go wrong did!  But the Lord was swift to provide joy and peace, a great support system, and a tangible presence in it all. 

Looking back, I have to say that I am sooo glad that learning experience is over, but I also must say that I would not trade it or change it.  During that 2 1/2 years the Lord changed me and changed my heart.  It was a whole lot of lessons in a little bit of time!  Plus, I met some fantastic people!!

Just another example to teach me that though His ways don't always match up with my ways, His will always be the best way!!  :)

I M.E.T. Him on Monday - In the Labor and Delivery Room

In honor of Mother's Day, I want to share one of my miracles/experiences with you that happened when I was giving birth to my youngest daughter.

Rewind eight years ago plus a month or so.........

I was about one week overdue with delivering my youngest daughter.  Boy was I ready to hold her in my arms as opposed to my belly!!

I went to the doctor for another checkup and everything looked great, but my doctor mentioned wanting to induce my labor.  There was no medical necessity for it, but she was suggesting we think about heading any problems off.

Now, as soon as she mentioned it, I clearly understood that the Lord wanted me to question it and ask her to wait a while.  I KNEW this without a doubt. 

But, I was so worried that I would offend her by questioning her that I kept my mouth shut.  Can we all say people pleasing issues??!! 

Now the funny thing about this is, my OB/GYN was a fantastic lady and most likely would have had no problem at all discussing this with me.  Hindsight 20/20!!

So we schedule an induction for the following Monday.  I spent the weekend stewing over the fact that I knew I should not be induced.  I knew that it was not time, but still....I stayed silent.

I tried everything that weekend to induce labor on my own.  I walked, planted flower gardens, drank and ate every food or drink rumored to start labor and nothing!!

So come Monday morning Farmer Willie and I head to the hospital to begin.  They start all of the meds and get labor going.

All is going well for about an hour and then my blood pressure begins to creep up so they won't let me out of bed.  Labor stalls and they break my water.  This helps and I am laboring pretty good.

Then, we figure out that she is still floating in the uterus.  Her head is in no way coming into the birth canal.  She is soooo not ready to come into this world!!

We try for several more hours, the doctor tries various ways of coaxing her down, but she is not obliging!! 

After deciding that we have done all that we can, the doctor makes the call to perform a C-section.  Now, to some of you this will not seem like a big deal.  To me it was a huge deal!!

My sweet OB/GYN had known me for quite a while and she knew of my strong desire to stay out of the OR.  She told me that she had been praying for the baby to drop so that we could proceed.  But that at this point, the baby was distressed, my blood pressure was going up and she had no choice.

The doctor checked the progress one more time and she said that there was none and no hope of it changing any time soon.

Farmer Willie and I consented and they went to get the paperwork for us to sign.

To say I was devastated was an understatement.  I was devastated and terrified!  I felt like things were not going the way that they were supposed to, but everything was out of my control.

Then I remembered.....Yes, I remembered the nagging voice all weekend telling me to talk to my doctor about not inducing. 

Farmer Willie and my mom were in the room with me.  The nurses had left us alone to get the paperwork together, so we began to pray.  We were praying for peace regarding what had to be done as well as safety for the baby and myself.  As we were praying, I knew then that I had sinned.

I had sinned by keeping my mouth shut when I knew that I should have spoken.  I knew that if I had asked the questions that needed to be asked, I would not be in this situation right now.  I had sinned and it was affecting not only myself, but my child.

As Farmer Willie was praying for safety and peace, I began to pray for forgiveness.  Forgiveness for not listening and obeying and for putting someone else's opinion of me above God's. 

As I prayed for forgiveness, I also prayed that the Lord would take this current situation away, and if not, that He would give me peace.

I suddenly felt the baby drop and an overwhelming urge to push.

I stopped Farmer Willie in the middle of his prayer and told him to get the nurse, I thought that the baby was coming.  He looked at me with sad eyes (thinking his wife has gone delusional!!) and walked out into the hall to get someone.

The nurse also looked at me with sad eyes and said, "Honey, we just checked you.  There is no way that enough could change over this short amount of time that would change the doctors course of action.  But I will go ahead and check for you again."

Well...good thing she did!!  As the doctor walked in the door with my paperwork, the nurse yelled that the baby was coming!!

Everyone whipped into place and readied to deliver her.  They called in the NICU as they were expecting her to be distressed due to the fact she was distressed in utero and also the fact that she traveled down the birth canal too quickly.

Then...pop...out she came, crying and screaming as loud as she could.  They checked her out and she was perfect!!

I was overwhelmed at that moment.  Overwhelmed with the joy of becoming a mommy to my fourth daughter and overwhelmed with thankfulness for the mercy I was given in the face of my sinful choice.

There have been many times in my life where I have seen direct consequences of my sinful choices come to pass, even when I have repented and pray for them not to come.  When we make certain choices, consequences regarding that choice, whether it was a good or bad one, are part of the human world.  What makes this different for me is that it was such an obvious testimony of the presence of God.

I go through my life and sometimes I get so caught up with what is going on that I forget how involved that the Lord wants to be if I will only call on Him.  And I forget that He knows the best path for me to take, if I will only ask Him.

What this miracle and experience does for me is that it reminds me of His presence.  It reminds me to listen to that still, small voice when I hear it.  It reminds me to put heavenly instructions above earthly desire. 

And finally, it reminds me of the power of repentance, whether it is through a change in circumstance or through a peace that surpasses all understanding.

I M.E.T. Him on Monday-Wonders, Signs, and Miracles!!

Good MONDAY morning to ya!!!!

Last week we started a weekly Monday series called "I M.E.T. Him on Monday."  So every Monday I will share with you some miracle or experience that the Lord has revealed in my life. 

The story below is a continuation of the one I began last week....The Answer Before the Question.

Below is the rest of the story, looking back a year later.  I choose to use the entry from a year later because I feel it has good perspective of what I learned through this miracle and experience!

Oh, and sorry that I did not post more last week!  DD's #2, 3, 4 and I were out of town at a debate tournament all week!! 

So....here ya go!!.......


They performed a lung biopsy on the last day I was there and came back telling me that it still appeared I had something called MAI, which is a rare lung infection. The treatment was 18 months of a chemo type drug cocktail with many yucky side effects.

Well, during the biopsy they cut out pieces of 6 different masses that were found in my lungs and sent them off for biopsy. The following day, when I was released, a friend was coming over to pray over me.

All week the week before we had been fervently praying for complete healing from this. Well, as she walked in the door, the pulmnologist called and said that though he still thought I had MAI, when looking at the biopsy under the microscope, the cells appeared to be healing themselves! He was surprised because this infection does not normally work like that. Of course, I told them that I was not surprised!! Praise the Lord!

Well, 6 weeks later they performed another set of CT scans and the lung spots were all completely gone! And there was no lasting damage!

So this week, as I have been participating in tons of fun Christmas activities with my family, I keep remembering where we were this time last year. I remember how scary it felt for us and how lonely the hospital feels, especially this time of year. I remember the look in my girls eyes when they walked in with their face masks, gloves, hat and hospital gown on. I remember how desperately I wanted to touch them and feel their warm skin.

I remember how huge of a blessing it was to have friends step in and do fun activities with my girls when I could not. I remember a special friend bringing flameless candles and food up to the hospital so Farmer Willie and I could celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary together, despite us being stuck up there! I remember special people bringing Christmas decorations and music up to my room to make it festive. There was even someone who brought up small gifts for me to give the girls when they came to visit.

I remember the lessons that I learned. First and foremost, even when we are isolated from everyone else, God it there. Not only is He there, but He cares that you feel sad, worried, scared, etc. I learned how important it is to listen to the gentle voice that tells you to reach out to people and how much of an impact a small act of kindness can make on a person. I learned that life can change directions on a dime and we absolutely can NOT take a single moment for granted. I learned that God hears us....ALWAYS!

So during this Christmas season I am going to hug my girls a little tighter. Smooch on Farmer Willie a little more! Fret less when my cookies burn. Forget about finding the perfect gift.

I am going to take the time to sit in front of the fire longer. Play baby dolls with my girls more! Care less about what people think about my wrapping job, my house, my clothes, my kids' clothes, my decorations and my gifts. Care more about making sure that absolutely EVERYONE in my life knows that I love and appreciate them more than they can imagine. And most importantly, during this Christmas season, I am going to do everything, and I mean EVERYTHING for His glory!

I M.E.T. Him on Monday! - The Answer Before the Question

On Sunday we heard a great sermon talking about how we should share our miracles and experiences with Christ, with others.  So...I am going to make Mondays be "I M.E.T. Him on Monday!"  M.E.T. stands for Miracles, Experiences and Testimony.  Each Monday I will share with you just a little of what Christ has done in my life in the way of miracles and experiences.

So I want to begin on the first Monday by sharing an experience that I had in December of 2008.  It will probably take me two weeks to share all of this incredible story!

I think the best way to share it is to begin with a journal/blog post from then....


The Answer Before the Question!

12/19/2008 (I was in the hospital when I wrote this)

 

God is absolutely amazing! Just the thought that He cares enough about us to WANT to spend time with us and communicate with us is unfathomable to me!

I am going through a fantastic book called Praying the Names of God by Ann Spangler. I love the book! Each week you learn one of the many names that God goes by in scripture.

Last week I studied Adonay, which means Lord, Master. The week was spent taking time to read scripture that points to what a blessing it is that we have Adonay as our Master and the promises that go along with that. The week was spent learning how I don't need to know what comes next, I just need to know whom it is I obey. He is everywhere and will not leave.

This week I studied Yahweh Rophe, which is the Lord who Heals. Monday and Tuesday were spent studying the promises of healing and how sometimes we forget about the spiritual healing and dwell on the physical. I jokingly asked the Lord if he was trying to tell me something :)

Tuesday night I started spitting up a lot of blood. At one point we could not get it to stop so we came to the ER. While doing a CT scan of my throat, the scan happened to pick up a bit of my right lung and showed something suspicious. They sent me for another scan and told me that they thought I had a very severe lung infection and were bringing in a specialist to look at it.

We were completely shocked as I have no cough and feel great, other than the blood thing (which I thought was due to a recent bought of strep throat). They admitted me into the hospital where I have been ever since in isolation. The reason for the isolation was to rule out TB, which they have, but they won't release me from isolation until 3pm this afternoon.

What they think I have is a type of lung infection that is not too common and is present everywhere and on everything. It is not contagious and usually people that are immune suppressed are the ones who get it.

They are going to biopsy it at 3pm this afternoon and we hope to be home tonight! The results could be in on Monday, but if they have to grow the culture, it could take 6 weeks. It is a slow growing infection so it is okay to wait that long.

The treatment is long, about 18 months, and not easy from what I understand. We are praying that when they go in today, it will be wiped away and we will not have to go down that road.

When we found this out on Wednesday, I could not breath from fear. We had not slept the night before because of all the tests and I was absolutely overwhelmed with fear and desperation at the situation. They said originally that I would be here until Sunday and I was so sad about all of the Christmas activities that the girls had that I would miss.

We chose to not let many people know because I just needed time to pray. I kept hearing the Lord remind me of what He taught me last week. He is my Master and knows the plan and result even when I don't. I was not alone, nor was I left to toss in the wind.

Then over the past few days He has taught me more about the Healer that He is and has shown me so many promises that I can call on!

As I look this morning over this experience, I can't help but thank Him! The Creator of everything, absolutely everything that is good and right and loving, cared enough about me and my wishy-washy feelings to show me answers before I even knew that I had any questions or needed any answers!

 

Me again....in 2013!!  God moved in sooo many different ways during this experience/miracle!  I will share more of the story next Monday.  But just the fact that He had be preparing my heart to face this trial in the weeks prior was such an act of love, that it was hard to comprehend!!

 

Take the time to share some of your miracles and experiences with me and we can add others to the Monday blog!!

 

Blessings to you all!