Terrible (Or NOT) Teens

**Farm Hunting Update:  I see progress!  We have signed the contract, locked in the interest rate, scheduled inspections and moved up the closing date to December 13!!  Plus.....we emptied out the attic last night!!  Woohoo!**

Terrible Teens

As a young mother, I heard horror stories of teenagers.  Heck, I remember making my own horror stories as a teen!!  I was told to expect rebellion, pulling away from the family, smart mouths, rolling eyes, and general disobedience.  As I looked at my precious little fat checked baby girls I brushed off the dread thinking that my babies would never even grow up out of preschooldom!!

Well, I have entered the land of the teenager.  My oldest daughter will be 18 in January, followed by her sister who is 15.  Finally, my third little baby girl will turn 11 next month, so she is following close behind!!

As my oldest began to edge toward the dreaded 13th birthday, or otherwise known as the beginning of the end, I would worry about how we would survive the next several years.  I worried how our family dynamic would change and what would become of us!!

Well, lo and behold, she just got better as she got older!  I figured she was a fluke and I began to hold on tight for the ride that my next oldest would bring us on.  Guess what, we enjoyed her even more the older she got too!

Now, I had no idea why this was happening!  You see, I am not super-mom.  I mess up and I mess up a lot.  There is no set of standards that would classify AcCOWntant Willie and I as perfect parents...nope, not one!

So now that we are all in agreement that this teen phenomenon has nothing to do with Willie nor I, let me tell you what I figured out....it has everything to do with God!  When my youngest was a baby, I read every parenting book I could get my hands on.  After reading a few I became frustrated because what sounded like great advice in one would be shot down by the other author and I would be given new advice.  Finally we decided...No more parenting books!!!!  We would simply turn to the ultimate example of a parent and let Him guide us. 

So what I want to share today are some of the guidelines that the Lord gave us for raising our children.  I believe the particular guidelines I will mention today had a direct influence on raising teenagers that we can not only stand being around, but we LOVE being around!!

Okie-dokie, here we go.....

1. Love the Lord your God with all of your heart, mind and soul and love your neighbor as yourself - No commandment is greater than this one and no parenting guideline is either.  Submit to the Lord's will daily and listen!!  Let Him guide you through the situations that will arise
2. Love you husband and keep your marriage strong - When my children were young, I had a hard time going out on dates will my AcCOWntant Willie because I felt bad leaving them.  But the Lord really showed me that taking time to keep your marriage strong is of huge importance to being a successful parent.
3. Capture your child's heart - Capture it early and hold on to it tight!  When you capture your child's heart, they begin to obey not out of fear or duty, but out of trust.  This becomes really important as they become teenagers and you want to influence who they hang out with, what they listen to, watch, etc. (I will post later on steps to help a parent capture their child's heart)
4. Say yes as frequently as possible - This is a big one!  Try to really think about what you say no to.  There are times when we just must say no, but don't let that be the first word out of your mouth.
5. Chores!!!! - They may not love them, but assigning and expecting completion of chores shows your children that they are a functioning part of the family.
6. Be consistent - Follow through on what you say whether it is something they want or if it is a consequence.  This demonstrates your trust-worthiness as a parent.  If you tell your child that they can't do something and you let them whine/talk you into it, you start to become unreliable in their eyes, someone that can be manipulated.  So say what you mean and mean what you say!!
7. Listen to them when they are young - If you breed good communication when they are young, their habit will be to come and talk with you when they are older.  So take the time to listen.
8. Guard their hearts - This is much easier to do when they are young, but guarding their hearts early on is so helpful in teaching them to guard their own hearts when they are older.  (Another thing that I will post more detail on later.)
9. Love, love, love on them!!! - Tell them you love them as often as you can.  Hug them, kiss them, cuddle with them!  Take the time to snuggle up with them in bed and read a story together or just talk.  Show them that they are loved and end each day and each encounter like it is your last.

Again, these guidelines are coming from a pair of imperfect parents with four precious, but imperfect daughters. Every family is different, but I believe that we can all use general guidelines to help us keep our parenting in focus.  Focus on what you might ask??!!

Him!!!!  It is all about Him!!!  Changing diapers, playing dolls together, listening to them talk and talk and talk, helping your teen get dressed for Prom,  it is ALL about Him!!  And that is the best advice I can give you...focus on Him.  The Lord knows your family and the needs of your children.  He knows your past and your future.  You have the ideal parenting guide and advice hot line at your disposal!!!  Use it....it is just a prayer away! :)

And remember, teens are awesome!  They are our future!  Don't put them down or discourage them, build them up, educate them and love on them!!  Your future depends on it :)